change – Mindful Miss T.

As I drove home from an early gym session this morning, a flood of emotions hit me.

I haven’t sat down and written a blog post in a while. But with all the feels I was feeling and all the thoughts that swirled around in my head…

… I felt really inclined to write everything down – to write this post.

So here it goes…

Driving the Nelson streets this morning and seeing the beautiful tree-covered mountains towering over me…

I was quickly reminded that I’m here – I made it.

Ever since I was a kid, vacationing in BC every summer, I told myself, “One day, I’ll live here. One day this will be my home.”

I was a young and naive child. A child with big dreams.

A child who thought she was invincible.

I used to do scary things on the daily – without any fear of the repercussions that could follow.

As I got older, things changed.

I enjoyed my comfort zone more and more.

Sure, I still did small things that pushed me outside the limits of that zone from time to time, but I always stayed within a short distance of its parameters.

Just close enough to the edge so I could jump back into it if I needed to – If I got too scared.

But as I drove home this morning from the gym, a realization hit me…

**It finally registered just how much I’ve leaped outside of that comfort zone.**

I moved away from everything and everyone I knew – my family, my friends, my home for the last 30 years.

I moved to a new city… where I knew no one. Not a single person (Well, except for the 70+ year old lovely old lady who lives in Salmo 40 minutes away).

I put myself out there – way out there – and made new friends.

I joined a new gym. I honestly never thought I’d step inside another crossfit gym again, but here I am – connecting with a new crew and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable again.

I published a book! As if that isn’t vulnerable enough… I’ve been promoting my book – stepping into bookstores and local shops to share my story with them.

I’ve been sending out email after email, connecting with new, like-minded people all across BC and Alberta.

Putting my heart, my story, and my words out into the world for everyone to see.

I started public speaking again – virtually and in person.

I used to fear public speaking, and I mean really fear it. So much that in school I would have panic attacks and beg my mom to call the teacher to ask if I could present to her alone during recess.

But here I am… again.

I’ve even tried new things – ultimate frisbee, overnight hiking/camping, skiing (and failed horribly I might add) – I may not attempt skiing again, but dang, at least I tried.

And you know what?

I’m really, really proud of myself.

Don’t get me wrong, this past year has been HARD – one of the hardest years of my life.

Filled with a plethora of struggles, new challenges, self-doubt, and major setbacks.

But despite it all…

I’m proud of me.

Of who I’ve become – who I’ve grown into.

Proud of the discomfort I’ve put (okay… forced) myself into.

And proud of my growth through all the pain.

I don’t say that often. Actually, I almost never admit that…

And I know I’m not the only one.

Maybe it’s hard for you to be proud of yourself too – to give yourself the acknowledgement and credit you deserve.

It’s a lot easier for us to see the light in others than it is to see the light in ourselves.

But… it’s there – shining brightly.

You do amazing, powerful and scary things every day. And they don’t go unnoticed.

(Well, maybe they go unnoticed – unacknowledged – by you, but it’s my hope that this post will change that).

I hope you’ll read this and then look at your own life, your own challenges, your own baby steps (aka LEAPS) outside of your comfort zone…

… And realize just how far you’ve come.

How much credit you really deserve for all you’ve done, and all you continue to do.

And if you haven’t told yourself this yet today (but I hope you take a moment to do so right now), just know…

I’m proud of you too.

With love,

Mindful Miss T.
(And the many, many different versions of me)

Today, is my official last day of employment with the school board.

Technically… my last day of work was back in January. But this last school year has been frustrating. I took a leave to gain some mental clarity and figure life out.

Well, I’ve figured something out…

I Figured, It’s Time for a New Adventure.

But let me tell you, it was not an easy decision.

In fact, I’m still fighting an internal battle over it….

I am a creature of comfort.

I originally began my journey in education because I was forced to pick something.

I was 19 with no direction. No plans. No ideas.

I needed something for the time being.

Until I figured out my next move.

It took me 7 years too long to finally make a move…

Education is Not Something I am Particularly Passionate About…

Well.. not the kind of education our schools teach.

I love the kids.

I love helping them grow.

I love having the opportunity to mould and shape little brains.

But I don’t care for academics….

I don’t care for the way our school systems force education onto kids.

I don’t care for the way that they teach kids what to think instead of how to think.

Instead of sparking curiosity…

Despite all of this, it was hard to finally make the change.

To leave my kiddos and school community behind.

But today, on my last official day of employment, I found some reassurance in the final chapter of a book I was reading.

Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know by Adam Grant.

“What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?”

Adam says, this question is the worst possible question we can ask our kids.

This question promotes a FIXED MINDSET.

It’s underlying message is that you’re a failure if you quit at something…

… Even if that something is something you hate…

I grew up in a world where adults asked this question continuously…

I can see the flaws in myself – the struggle to quit education – because this question was imposed on me as a child.

I see this question imposed on our students everyday in school…

I do not want to contribute to more fixed mindsets..

I want to break free from that cycle.

I want to be an example of a growth mindset.

It’s Time to Re-Think my Life.

My career.

Time to move on.

“The simplest way to rethink our options is to question what we do daily…”
Think Again – Adam Grant

In January, I began re-thinking my days.

I re-thought my life as an Educator…

I don’t want to have to put academics above mental health or personal growth.

I don’t want to waste anymore time in a broken system.

A system that I don’t care for. A system that doesn’t promote change.

I DO want to make a difference.

I tried my hardest to make a difference within the system.

But I could only do so much.

I realize now, I have an opportunity to make more of a difference, to help more kids, more families, more educators, by getting OUT of the system.

I Don’t Regret Anything.

I am grateful for all I learned. For my experiences.

But now, I’m ready for more.

Bring on the next adventure.

Remember: It takes strength to quit. To quit things that aren’t suited for us.

As long as you live & speak your truth, you can’t go wrong…