As I drove home from an early gym session this morning, a flood of emotions hit me.
I haven’t sat down and written a blog post in a while. But with all the feels I was feeling and all the thoughts that swirled around in my head…
… I felt really inclined to write everything down – to write this post.
So here it goes…
Driving the Nelson streets this morning and seeing the beautiful tree-covered mountains towering over me…
I was quickly reminded that I’m here – I made it.
Ever since I was a kid, vacationing in BC every summer, I told myself, “One day, I’ll live here. One day this will be my home.”
I was a young and naive child. A child with big dreams.
A child who thought she was invincible.
I used to do scary things on the daily – without any fear of the repercussions that could follow.
As I got older, things changed.
I enjoyed my comfort zone more and more.
Sure, I still did small things that pushed me outside the limits of that zone from time to time, but I always stayed within a short distance of its parameters.
Just close enough to the edge so I could jump back into it if I needed to – If I got too scared.
But as I drove home this morning from the gym, a realization hit me…
It finally registered just how much I’ve leaped outside of that comfort zone.
I moved away from everything and everyone I knew – my family, my friends, my home for the last 30 years.
I moved to a new city… where I knew no one. Not a single person (Well, except for the 70+ year old lovely old lady who lives in Salmo 40 minutes away).
I put myself out there – way out there – and made new friends.
I joined a new gym. I honestly never thought I’d step inside another crossfit gym again, but here I am – connecting with a new crew and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable again.
I published a book! As if that isn’t vulnerable enough… I’ve been promoting my book – stepping into bookstores and local shops to share my story with them.
I’ve been sending out email after email, connecting with new, like-minded people all across BC and Alberta.
Putting my heart, my story, and my words out into the world for everyone to see.
I started public speaking again – virtually and in person.
I used to fear public speaking, and I mean really fear it. So much that in school I would have panic attacks and beg my mom to call the teacher to ask if I could present to her alone during recess.
But here I am… again.
I’ve even tried new things – ultimate frisbee, overnight hiking/camping, skiing (and failed horribly I might add) – I may not attempt skiing again, but dang, at least I tried.
And you know what?
I’m really, really proud of myself.
Don’t get me wrong, this past year has been HARD – one of the hardest years of my life.
Filled with a plethora of struggles, new challenges, self-doubt, and major setbacks.
But despite it all…
I’m proud of me.
Of who I’ve become – who I’ve grown into.
Proud of the discomfort I’ve put (okay… forced) myself into.
And proud of my growth through all the pain.
I don’t say that often. Actually, I almost never admit that…
And I know I’m not the only one.
Maybe it’s hard for you to be proud of yourself too – to give yourself the acknowledgement and credit you deserve.
It’s a lot easier for us to see the light in others than it is to see the light in ourselves.
But… it’s there – shining brightly.
You do amazing, powerful and scary things every day. And they don’t go unnoticed.
(Well, maybe they go unnoticed – unacknowledged – by you, but it’s my hope that this post will change that).
I hope you’ll read this and then look at your own life, your own challenges, your own baby steps (aka LEAPS) outside of your comfort zone…
… And realize just how far you’ve come.
How much credit you really deserve for all you’ve done, and all you continue to do.
And if you haven’t told yourself this yet today (but I hope you take a moment to do so right now), just know…
I’m proud of you too.
With love,
Mindful Miss T.
(And the many, many different versions of me)
Mindful Miss T. 