January 7, 2022 was the last time I set foot in my school…
I’ve been on a leave for the last 3 months trying to gain some clarity about life and the kind of work I want to pursue.
I never planned to be an Educator forever.
What kept me there so long was the kids.
The lives that I touched. The lives that touched me…
Saying Goodbye Isn’t Easy.
I never really had a chance to say goodbye.
My leave was sudden and it happened just before the kids came back from Christmas break.
I spent the last 3 months worried and wondering:
“Do they think I abandoned them?”
I didn’t want to leave them with that impression.
I wanted them to understand how much I love and care for them.
Just, this departure was something I had to do… for me…
Is that selfish?
I don’t believe so. But I still struggled with this question in my mind.
I spent the last 7 years of my life putting my students well-being ahead of my own.
It was time for me to care for myself.
But, I needed to see them. To explain to them myself.
To be real with them.
So Yesterday, I Went Back.
I spent the afternoon volunteering at the school.
I got to see so many friendly faces!
I heard my name echo in the school hallways…
“Miss T!” You’re here!”
My heart filled with joy of all the beaming little faces.
Happy just to see me.
I spent the afternoon helping out and catching up.
I finally had my closure.
And I realized something while I was there.
I realized that just because I love these kids, it doesn’t mean I need to WORK at the school to be with them.
To help guide them. To make a difference in their lives.
I can still be that person – a role model for them – by being my authentic self.
Even if that authentic self is no longer an educator. No longer their Educator.
It’s Not The Title That Matters.
It whats in your heart and what you do with it that really matters.
And so, I decided to go back every second week to volunteer.
To give them the love they deserve.
I don’t want the job. But I want the kids.
I want to show them that they can always count on Miss T.
That I will always be there for them.
Educator, or not.