You’ve heard me preach it before (And I promise you, this won’t be the last time either 😉)…
What is Heart Coherence?
Heart coherence is used to describe a state of harmony and balance between the heart, mind, and body.
In this state of balance and harmony, our heart rhythm pattern becomes highly ordered, and this has some seriously amazing implications on our health and mental wellbeing!
According to the HeartMath Institute, heart coherence has been shown to reduce stress, improve immune function, and enhance cognitive performance.
Heart Coherence leads to a sense of calm, clarity, focus, and resilience.
All of this means less sick days, a better memory recall, more peace in your life, and…
A happier, healthier you!
Who wouldn’t want that?
(Now you understand why I preach Heart Coherence – Because I want this so bad for YOU too!)
Okay, so we know what Heart Coherence is… And how it can benefit us…
But HOW do we get into this state?
Don’t worry, it’s not as complicated as it sounds!
In fact, here are three simple mindfulness practices you can try today:
First up, Heart-Focused Breathing.
This technique involves breathing in and out through your heart center. This helps you shift your focus away from distracting thoughts, and allows you to focus on the present moment instead.
By shifting your focus to the present moment of your heart beating, you create a positive emotional state. You increase the coherence between your heart and brain. And it will leave you feeling calm, centered, and ready to tackle whatever comes your way!
Next, Let’s Talk Gratitude.
Practicing gratitude is all about shifting your focus from negative thoughts to positive ones.
By focusing on things you’re grateful for, you activate the heart’s electromagnetic field, leading to a state of coherence! Not only does it feel great to appreciate the good in life, but you’re also attracting more positivity into your world.
Last But Not Least, The Quick Coherence Meditation Technique.
This guided meditation technique, by The HeartMath Institute, is designed to help you achieve a state of coherence by synchronizing your heart and brain rhythms – and QUICKLY!
This technique has been shown to help reduce stress, improve sleep, and enhance cognitive performance. Plus, it’s a great way to connect with your intuition, creativity, and inner wisdom.
To learn more about this meditation for this right here.
Or check out their guided meditation on Youtube here:
So, there you have it! Simple enough right?!
So simple that you can do it TODAY!
And by incorporating these simple practices into your daily routine, you can create a sense of calm and balance in your life.
“When your heart is coherent, you’re more in tune with your intuition, your creativity, and your inner wisdom.”
-HeartMath Institute
So please, take a few minutes each day to tune into your heart, and just watch how it transforms your life.
When was the last time YOU took inventory of your thoughts?
Specifically – The thoughts you have about YOURSELF…
Our Internal Dialogue
Self-talk is the voice inside our heads that commentates our life.
This internal commentator shares its thoughts on our actions, on our decisions, on our personality and even, our looks… It always seems to have an opinion…
And I’m going to be honest with you here… It’s not always the kindest opinion – It’s often a judgemental opinion.
Our self-talk develops and changes based on our past experiences, and the people we spent the most time with. It develops based on how the people around us, especially those closest to us, spoke about themselves.
Over time, this self-talk becomes deeply ingrained in us.
We don’t always think about its implications, because of it being deeply ingrained into our system. We tend to dismiss the impact our self-talk has on our lives.
In reality: The things that we say to ourselves matter.
It matters because these things manifest our reality… They way we talk to ourselves shows up in our mental and physical wellbeing…
Negative Self-Talk: An Unhealthy Pattern
Negative self-talk pops into our heads in the form of self-criticism, doubt, and negativity.
All too commonly, we tell ourselves:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I always mess things up.”
“I’ll never be able to do it.”
We set ourselves up for failure with such unkindness about ourselves.
By continually engaging in negative self-talk, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy that reinforces our negative beliefs and behaviours.
We reinforce the cycle of negative self-talk.
Escaping the Cycle
What about positive self-talk, then?
It is an optimistic and encouraging internal dialogue that promotes self-confidence and self-esteem.
Positive self-talk sounds like this:
“I can do this.”
“I am capable.”
“I am worthy of love and respect.”
This kind of self-talk helps us overcome obstacles, achieve goals, and maintain a positive outlook on life. Most importantly, it helps us to love and accept ourselves for who we are.
We can harness the power of positive-self talk to reverse the cycle.
Change is Hard… But NOT Impossible.
Trust me, I get it… Growing up in this day and age, in this world, poses a real challenge to unleash our confidence. To be vulnerable. An to accept ourselves for who we are.
It’s much easier to revert back to our deeply ingrained patterns of negative self-talk.
Our subconscious holds onto this pattern tightly – It doesn’t want to let the negative self-talk go. It’s all it knows after all…
This negative pattern becomes our default mode.
Here’s the thing: We CAN reverse this pattern. We CAN rewire our brains with a NEW default mode.
To rewire our brain and get ourselves out of this negative self-talk pattern, we need to do some serious brain training.
It’s time we become intentional about our positive self-talk!
We can interrupt self-defeating thoughts by redirecting to positive ones.
Look, I’m not saying we’ve got to be perfect all. the. time.
We are human after all. Flaw is a part of our design.
But –
If we can begin to be conscious of these thoughts and redirect ourselves to choosing new thoughts, this is the start of a beautiful new life…
It’s as simple as catching yourself the next time you tell yourself: “Ugh, I’m so stupid…”, taking a pause (maybe a deep breath) and then re-telling yourself:
“Okay, I’m not stupid, it was only just a mistake. I’m actually a smart human who makes great choices. We’re all entitled to mistakes.”
Manageable, right?
And the more we can get into the habit of catching ourselves, and redirecting ourselves, our brain will begin to change… And a new default mode takes over the subconscious mind!
I Used To Tell My Students
“Would you say those things to your best friend?”
The answer is almost always no.
It’s easy to show compassion to our friends, why is it so hard to show compassion to ourselves?
I’m going to let you in on one last secret: You will be the best and longest friend YOU will ever have.
You will always be there for you.
So, nurture the friendship you have with yourself well. It’s the most important friendship you’ll ever have.
And seeing that it’s still January, let’s elaborate a little more about starting the New Year off with intentions!
Why Intentions and NOT Resolutions?
I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m not a big fan of resolutions…
I find the idea of a new year’s resolution tends to be overwhelming. And more often than not, they set us up for failure.
We build up this idea in our mind of all the goals we’ll crush and all the things we’ll accomplish, and when we fall short (even just a tad), we get down on ourselves. We give up.
For myself, I prefer to focus on setting intentions. For the year ahead. As well as for the day ahead.
An intention is a guiding principle or mindset that you want to adopt, rather than a specific goal. It can be a feeling you want to feel. Or the energy you want to bring with you into the year ahead.
There are many different ways to set an intention (and a whole lot less rules than setting goals or resolutions 😉)
Last week, I shared my intention setting with the help of the Dan Sullivan Question. This particular intention was geared towards the next three years of my life.
But for 2023…
I Decided on Setting an Intention with my ‘Word of the Year’
This year, I’ve chosen my intentional word as “growth.”
I’ve finally hit a point in my life where I’ve come to realize that we are always growing and always learning.
That we are meant to always grow and learn.
And that comfort and stagnation are not a part of our journey. There never will be a final comfortable destination in this beautiful human experience…
There will never be a point reached where we’ll say: “Okay, that’s it, I’ve learned all there is to learn in this life. I’m complete.”
It’s just not going to happen.
So instead, I’ll embrace the forever growth.
(Side note: Growth is not always linear… It’s more like a cycle… Like nature moving through seasons, our growth changes. Sometimes we grow up towards the sky. Other times we take a step back and shed our leaves. But even during those step backs, we grow from them. It is all part of the growth process.)
So this year, to follow through with my intentional word, I plan to say yes to the things I’ve always wanted to learn and try.
To start saying yes to the things I’ve always said:
“One day, I’d like to learn this…”
“One day, I’d like to try that…”
And we all know that “one day” just keeps slipping further away.
Until it never happens at all.
And let me tell you, I’m done putting off growth.
In the last quarter of 2022, I read the book “The 12 Week Year” by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington. This book shed some light on the fact that I have more time than I ever thought. That we all have more time than we think.
And we are always capable of learning and growing – especially if it is something we prioritize because we truly desire it for ourselves.
I Desire Growth
And I will do what it takes to keep this intentional promise I made with myself…
This year, I’ll be trying a whole lot of new things.
And learning a LOT more of the things I’ve always wanted to learn.
I hope that by sharing my intention of growth, it will inspire you to set your own intentions for the year. And to embrace the idea of forever growing.
Life Really Is One Big Giant Classroom.
Embrace each opportunity to learn and grow! Or MAKE your own opportunities!
I’m ready to make this year one of growth, one of trial and error, and one of learning from mistakes.
Sometimes we think if we work and work and work, we’ll get to this ultimate point in our lives. The high point of true happiness…
We think:
“I’ll be happy when I’m rich…”
“I’ll be happy when I’m retired…”
“When I finally have freedom, I’ll be happy…”
But, It Doesn’t Work This Way…
We will never get to this point of completion. Because the reality is, we are always growing. Always changing. Always reaching towards new goals.
There is no point waiting for happiness to reach this point.
This point will never come…
Learn To See Happiness In Growth.
It really is a simple equation to happiness.
Happiness = Growth
There is no happiness in stagnancy.
In fact, I’d say the equation would look something like this…
Stagnancy= Madness.
Because when we are stagnant… when we remain the same… When we are waiting to reach a certain point in our lives that will never come, we become depressed. The opposite of happiness.
This is true madness.
“Happiness is neither this thing nor that…. It is simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.”
-William Butler Yeats
We Are Happy When We Are Growing.
When we stretch our minds and learn new things. When we open our minds to different viewpoints and challenge our existing beliefs.
When we continuously set new goals and when we are accepting of the fact that we will ALWAYS be setting goals.
That we will ALWAYS be growing…
Be Happy Now.
Happiness is a choice.
You can choose to see it as something you attain, or you can choose to see it as something you experience everyday.
That you experience while you Grow. Learn. Change.
Remember, you will never reach a point of completion. You will never reach ultimate happiness.
But, you can choose to see it in the growth of each day.
It doesn’t often make it to the top of our priority list…
We put other things ahead of it.
And we don’t realize they go hand-in-hand.
Mindset plays a role in everything we do!
But why?
And how?
The Science of Epigenetics
Epigenetics is the study of how perception shapes our reality by affecting the way our genes work.
And no… I’m not talking about altering your genes!
Epigenetics explains how parts of our lives – like our environment, situations, our thoughts and behaviors (what we input) – can change the expression of our genes.
It doesn’t alter our genes. Our genes are still our genes.
But our perception can turn genes on and off – almost like a switch.
Perception Shapes Our Biology!
The things you tell yourself and what you perceive about yourself matter!
Thoughts and experiences shape you.
Who you are, who you become…
Your whole reality is manifested by your thoughts. Your perceptions.
I want to share an example of how powerful our thoughts are.
There are many studies out there that prove this point, but here is one you’ll never forget…
Here is how we can harness the power of Epigenetics…
Case Study: Hotel Maids and Harvard.
Harvard Researchers took mindset to the test by monitoring a group of hotel maids.
The group was split into two:
An Informed Group
An Uniformed Group
The group of ‘informed’ individuals were shown that the work they do is considered good exercise. They gave multiple examples to point out all of the exercise they were getting on a daily basis.
All of the walking – up and down stairs. All of the vacuuming and toting around of heavy cleaning materials. All of the movement they did all day long.
The ‘uninformed’ group was told none of this. They proceeded to work as usual.
At the end of the study, SIGNIFICANT differences emerged between the two groups!
Nothing changed for the ‘uninformed’ group.
But for the ‘informed’ maids…
They became fitter AND healthier!
Their Daily Work Tasks and Behaviours Did NOT Change…
What Did Change Was HOW They Viewed Their Work…
The ‘informed’ maids saw measurable improvements!
Decrease in Body Weight
Lowered Blood Pressure
Less body fat
Smaller BMI.
All of these changes came about, solely through how they perceived their work!
True Epigenetics at work!
Via the placebo effect…
This study showcases that the mindset we have about ourselves (or our work) can affect our reality. Right down to our biology!
It was a message that was ingrained in my head as a kid.
It covered every inch of the school walls. I heard it countless times being shouted by parents ‘motivating’ their kids at soccer games. It was everywhere.
But… that doesn’t mean it’s correct…
Winners Know How To Quit.
I grew up with the notion that you should never quit, even if it kills you.
That winners never quit if they want to succeed.
As I grow older, I see the fault in this mentality. That this mentality can actually get us into trouble…
Yes, There is Value in Not Quitting.
Using grit to push through challenges.
Especially if those challenges are something you’re passionate about.
And, of course, if it actually makes sense..
If it’s realistic and feasible…
But if your challenges aren’t feasible, if they are not realistic, then why do you continue to push on?
You’ll only end up digging yourself into a bigger hole…
There is Value in Quitting Smartly!
Sometimes we stick with something that makes no sense simply because we’re already committed.
We don’t want to risk looking like a fool and going back on our words.
But… if you’re doomed to fail anyways, why press on?
Doesn’t that already make you a fool…?
Learn When To Pivot.
In Seth Godin’s book The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (And When To Stick), he describes this dip as this point of temporary set back.
When challenges come up, we find ourselves stuck in this dip.
Those with the “Winner Never Quit” mentality will keep pushing on, if it’s the last thing they do.
Some, never make it out alive.
But this dip… this is where the real winners ask themselves:
“Do I stick this out, or do I pivot?”
It’s okay to reevaluate your goals. To change directions.
In fact, sometimes it’s the smartest thing you can do!
Do It! Switch Gears! Quit!
Don’t get caught in the trap of “Winners Never Quit”. Don’t try to push through just because you’ve “committed.”
You are not a loser if you quit.
Real winners know WHEN to quit. They have the guts to quit.
Seth Godin said it best:
“Winners quit all the time. They just quit the right stuff at the right time.”
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.”
– Attributed to Albert Einstein
Here I am, sitting down for lunch in the Staff Room.
The Staff Room is buzzing. Buzzing with people. With conversations.
But, what I really mean by conversations… is complaints…
The Staff Room is the place for venting. Apparently.
Here, staff vent about their students. They vent about coworkers. They vent about their families and home life.
I only listen.
I don’t chime in.
I don’t contribute to their complaints.
Because, I just don’t get it..
I See These People Do and Say the Same Things… Every Day…
“Why can’t Kellen just listen?! His personality is too hard to teach…”
But, have they done anything different to help this kid?
Nope.
“Mrs. Bell in the office is always ignoring me.”
Well, have they tried saying ‘Good Morning’? Or asked about her day?
Nope.
“My husband and kids drive me crazy! I’m just too tired to deal with them after work!”
But, have they scheduled any time for self care? Have they done anything proactively?
Nope.
How Can Anyone Expect Anything to Change, If They Don’t Change?
To get different results, we need to do something different.
We can’t rely on our current habits and conversations if we are expecting different results.
Same goes with the staff room table… No one benefits from engaging in the same complaints day after day. And no one has taken any step to change their outcomes.
So… How can they expect the next day to be any different?
What Are Your Goals?
Do you want to have better days at work? Do you want to be happier? Do you want to be healthier? Do you want to make more money?
Whatever your goals, wishes, or dreams are…
Ask yourself:
Do Your Habits Match Your Goals?
Chances are, if you’re stuck in the same cycle of complaints, then they don’t.
You’ve been doing the same thing each day.
Same habits, same you.
Things will never change.
If You Want REAL CHANGE, You Need To Be The Change!
You want less stressful days at work?
Can you change something about your day? Or… go out on a limb and change careers entirely!
You want to be happier?
Can you start looking for joy in each day? Can you start practicing gratitude?
You want to be healthier?
Can you make a step towards healthier habits? Can you eat more vegetables? Or find ways to move your body daily?
You can.
You just need to align your habits – what you say and do – with your goals.
To experience external change, you need to tackle internal change.
Well, September is almost over… And that means our focus this month has been getting back into a routine with work and school.
Oh has it…?
Has it been tricky to get back into a routine this new school year?
If it has, don’t worry – You’re not alone!
This blog post is especially for you to help you make the most of your routines!
With routines, we can build positive habits into our lives.
If you had to implement just ONE routine into your day, design yourself a morning ritual that will assure a thriving day ahead.
A solid morning routine can set the motion for your whole day.
Morning routines have shown to make us
Happier,
Healthier, and
More Productive
Does your current morning do this for you?
If not, here is how to construct yourself a morning ritual that will guarantee a successful day and successful life:
#1. A Successful Day Begins With a Successful Night:
Making sure to get enough, consistent sleep, will allow for an easier wake up the next day. Sleep is crucial for our brains and bodies to get the rest they need – it improves our memory, learning, decision-making and even our creativity. Another way to enhance our mornings is to get our mindset ready the night before. We can do that with some positive affirmations like:
“Tomorrow will be a great day…”
“I will wake up with ease…”
“I will accomplish everything I need tomorrow…”
#2. Don’t Let Your Phone Be The First Thing You Grab Upon Awakening:
Many of us start our days by checking our emails or social media, but this isn’t what will set our days up for success. Often, we get stuck in “the scroll”… Wasting time scrolling through feeds… While we may see it as useful or a fun way to start the day, our subconscious is busy comparing ourselves to others… Not a way to take on the day.. We need to start off the day with something(s) that nourishes our soul and allows us time to focus on ourselves.
#3. Get a Moment Of Silence:
This silence could mean meditation (if you’re into it), or visualizing your day, or your future! You may even want to use this moment of silence to contemplate a problem that you need to solve. Meditating, Visualizing, and Contemplating help us feel more in control of our days. And our lives. And you don’t have to carve out a large chunk of time either- it could be 30 seconds, or a few minutes… You get to decide!
#4. Exercise Your Brain:
This could be done by journaling, or reading, even through art. Use your interests to decide how you want to start the morning exercising your brain. Taking the time to exercise your brain helps to improve its functioning, balances both hemispheres of the brain, and helps to keep it sharp with age!
#5. Get Your Body Moving:
Find what works for you! If you HATE running… Don’t force yourself to run in the mornings. It will end up working against you. Tailor this to your interests. It can be something as simple as stretching, or doing 10 minutes of yoga, maybe weight training or some cardio. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something you enjoy doing. And something that’ll get you excited to get out of bed in the mornings!
“This is great and all, but what if I don’t have time?”
Then, I would ask you… are YOU not worth making the time for?
I say, YOU ARE WORTH IT!
No one said you have to carve out a whole hour in your morning to have a successful day ahead! I mean, you can eventually get there.. if you want to.
But begin with waking up just 10 minutes earlier.
That’s it!
Adding 10 minutes in the morning to guarantee an accomplished day…
There’s one thing in particular that has been weighing me down…
It’s that I can’t speakSpanish…
Even after 6+ years in grade school taking the language and being part of a Spanish family, I still can’t speak it fluently. Most definitely not comfortably.
Here’s the thing…
My Mom Is From Chile In South America. My Dad, On The Other Hand, Is Canadian.
We never spoke the language at home while I was growing up. Except for a few key words like “hola” and “ciao”.
While all my cousins were busy picking up the language that was being spoken around them, I couldn’t put together a single sentence. I couldn’t even have a conversation with my grandparents…
This Past Fall, My Grandfather Suffered a Stroke.
He wasn’t able to recover.
Just before Christmas, he passed away…
My Grandpa – We called him Papi, my Mother and I as a baby!
I thought long and hard about how my entire life I never had a full conversation with him – not unless someone translated for us.
I wish the language had stuck. I wish I could’ve had a real conversation with him.
Because He Had One Heck Of A Story To Tell…
During the 1970’s, Chile was anything but a peaceful place.
The military overthrew the Popular Unity government of President Salvador Allende. This was the start of military rule in the country.
Many Chilean citizens like my Grandfather, supported the efforts of President Salvador Allende. He brought civilian rule, stability and peace to the country.
But all of that ended in 1973 when President Allende was killed and the General of the Military Coup took over.
Dictatorship reigned…
It became illegal to show any support for the old government.
And my grandfather…
Well… He was an activist who supported the old government.
My Grandparents together back in Chile
My Grandmother – My Mami – in the middle with all of her daughters – My Tia’s – around her
The military dictatorship would raid homes and look for signs of support.
They found my grandfather.
He was taken away. He became a prisoner of this war.
I wish I could have asked him about it. I wish I could have gotten more details.
Although, even if I spoke Spanish, I don’t know that he would have been able to tell me everything without crying.
He disappeared for some time…
And when he returned to his family, they (along with other families who supported the old government) fled to Argentina.
But in Argentina, things weren’t any easier.
Homes were raided again and again by the military in search of supporters of the old government.
My mom, who was only 5 at the time, tells me how she remembers being forced out of their little temporary home and shuffled down the stairs with her 7 siblings. They would all wait until the search was over and they could return up the stairs.
I was told that my grandpa carried a picture of the old president and hid it while in Argentina. Luckily, they never found it.
Eventually, my family was able to leave the war-ridden land in search of a new home.
This picture was taken in Winnipeg, Manitoba when my Grandparents and their family first landed in Canada
A New Home In Canada.
A friend of mine in university once wrote a paper on my grandfather. She interviewed him about his time as a prisoner in Chile.
Sadly, her computer was stolen and I never got the chance to read all that he said.
Another reason this regret of not learning Spanish hung heavily on my shoulders.
But…
This Blog Post Is Not About Regret.
It’s about REFLECTING and LEARNING!
After all this, I realized… I still have one grandparent left – My beautiful Abuela.
And she has her own story to tell.
I decided that I didn’t want a language barrier to be the reason my grandmother could not tell me her story either.
So…
I Took Action!
I made the decision to learn Spanish (finally)! For my grandmother and my grandfather.
And… I used the practice of Mindfulness to help me shift into a growth mindset to learn this new language!
My Grandparents and my Parents at my Baptism when I was only a few months old!
Here’s how I’ve been learning Spanish with the help of Mindfulness:
1. Find Calm:
My first step in moving forward in my Spanish journey was to practice forgiveness. I had to forgive myself for not learning Spanish earlier. I had to let go of the past and move forward with the present. I had to find my calm and not let the past control my future. It all began with that mindset shift. To reflect and learn from my mistakes. And to remind myself that it’s never too late to learn something new.
2. Get Curious:
To learn from my past self and move forward, I had to ask myself a few questions. Questions like “Why hadn’t I been able to retain the language before?” “What can I do differently this time around?” “What can I use to motivate myself?”
Upon reflecting, I noticed that when I tried to learn Spanish before, it was as an adolescent. I was a kid who didn’t care and a kid who was not self-aware. I’ve changed since then and so has my motivation to learn Spanish. I was able to use these questions to nail down my WHY and HOW I wanted to proceed.
3. Make Connections:
Since I did have some experience being around the Spanish language, I could understand it slightly (only if someone spoke REALLY slowly), but I couldn’t speak it. I knew, to get better at speaking the language, I had to practice speaking the language.
I made plans to connect with family members and friends where we could have real conversations in Spanish. I even got myself a few penpals, young cousins of mine, who’d help me practice my written Spanish! I am grateful for my family’s patience with me.
4. Get Creative:
Since I was no longer in school, and didn’t have a dedicated time and class to attend Spanish, I had to figure out my own schedule to practice. I had to get creative!! And because speaking is much harder for me, I knew I had to practice any chance I got!
I live about an hour from most of my Spanish family and being with them all the time is not ideal.
So… this meant I started speaking to my boyfriend in Spanish (who is definitely NOT Spanish), I started speaking to my pets and even shared some of my thoughts out loud in Spanish. I realize I looked pretty crazy some days, but you gotta do what you gotta do!
5. Make a Commitment:
The final step was to make a commitment. To myself. To this life-long journey. And to not get discouraged when the going gets tough.
To make this commitment manageable, I broke down my commitments into small attainable goals. Goals that I could work towards every day. I adopted this practice of ‘Kaizen’ (a Japanese word that means continuous improvement through small, incremental steps). I committed to practicing 15 minutes of Spanish everyday through the Duolingo app. This was manageable. This has been something I’ve been able to commit to.
I also made the commitment to visit my Spanish family more. To speak with them more. I used to be embarrassed to visit them… Because I couldn’t really speak to them. But not anymore. Now, I CHOOSE to visit them to learn from them. Now, I feel like I belong.
Is There Something You’ve Been Wanting To Learn, But Something Has Been Holding You Back?
Maybe it’s a language too, or maybe you want to learn how to cook. Or maybe you’ve been waiting years to finally pick up that old guitar and learn how to play it.
Whatever your challenge is, I hope you can use this story as inspiration to push through those obstacles.
To use the power of Mindfulness to move forward in your learning and growth.
Mindful Miss T. 